Companies We'd like to see at TechCrunch50

...me-focussed companies as…

DoucheBall
An evolution of the Foursquare/Dodgeball concept, designed to appeal to men who, for whatever reason, want to avoid running into any of their ex-girlfriends. Whenever a previous flame checks into a venue, an alert is pushed to the man’s phone allowing him to stay well clear until the danger has passed. Much like Foursquare, there’s a fun game element too, with badges to be won based on certain patterns of behaviour. By default, all users are awarded the “Player, please” and “Coward, grow up” badges at sign-up.

Am I Fired Or Not?
You know how it is – you have multiple freelance gigs, any of which you could lose at a moment’s notice by writing unforgivably navel-gazing columns about yourself and your friends. Combined with industry-wide budget cuts and publication closures, keeping track of who still employs you can be a full time job. But not any more! Introducing ‘Am I Fired Or Not?’ – the Friendfeed of firing; the RSS of redundancy. Simply add each new employer as they hire you, and be instantly notified when – a few weeks later – they come to their senses and remove themselves.

WhoreSquare
Sure, services like Skimlinks provide a neat way for site owners to make extra revenue by turning key words and phrases into affiliate links. But some editors are uneasy at the idea of shilling to their readers under the guise of producing impartial content. If you’re one of those editors then WhoreSquare is your perfect compromise. Simply install this free plugin and every single word on your blog will be instantly transformed into an affiliate link to my brilliant book, Bringing Nothing To The Party: True Confessions of a New Media Whore. As an added bonus, every image, including your site’s own logo will be replaced with a gigantic animated gif of me holding the book, and waving. Sure, your readers are still being sold to but, trust me, they’ll thank you for it.

BlackoutCast
Heading out for a quick drink? Want to record everything you say and do after 10pm so you can play it back in the morning and remember all of the people you need to apologise to / pay damages to / add to your avoid list on DoucheBall? There’s an app for that.

Cuddle.net :
A site which provides a legitimate outlet for sexual harassment in the work place

Spotify :
Advice and premium content on how to give your partner acne so that your best friend stops hitting on them

Bummble :
A search and discovery service for mobile which reflects the true pain of finding anything on your phone; reducing the user to a squinting fumbling quivering wreck as they navigate small keys, small screen and awful mobile network connection

and of course Turnvox :

A middleware platform which hires a mechanical-turkesque crowd of outsourced third world countries to implement whatever you originally designed your code to do, but couldn’t ever quite get to work properly, thus enabling you to secure $200 million in VC funding.

Make a Mint :
Takes your personal financial details from you and then cleans out your bank account. Registered offices in Nigeria and luxurious 5 star hotels in the Caribbean.

Hooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooopla :
Startup with the most "double O"s in its name. Must work, right?

Radar O'Really :
Extremely real time search engine. Knows what you want to search for before you've typed it in

YouPhone :
iPhone style playout device plus YouPorn content. Truly a killer app.......

iPhony :
Be the person you always wanted to be! This App spoofs your iPhone so it looks like you are someone else rich and famous. Pulls data from the rich and famous' Twitter accounts to create realistic simulacra of them. Monetises by selling changing details of the Slebs you want to impersonate.