10 Ways of using the Twitter Egosystem

That right - the egosystem (the term was flitting round the London Twitterati this morning). The egosystem is that part of Twitter inhabited by those people whose sole purpose on Twitter is to "amplify" themselves. However, given that the poor things are so busy pimping themselves that it must be hard to think of all the ways and means they can do it, we have published this handy guide as a service:

1. Retweet Yourself Redux:
Me: RT @You RT @Me [The drivel I was pimping]

2. I'm So Important part 1:
Me: Lovely [Lunch/Dinner/Breakfast] with @[First Worthy Person], @[slightly less worthy person], @[even less worthy person] and @[oh yeah, they were there too] talking about [incredibly erudite stuff]

3. I'm So Important part 2:
Me: I am at [name exclusive event/place/etc] waiting for @[super-status person] to [take the stage/take the seat near me/take the biscuit]. Bonus Point for I will be [meeting/eating with/sleeping with] them afterwards

4. I've got real access:
Me: Hey I just so happen to be at [big corp's big annual shin-dig] with [BigCorp media hero] and I would like to draw your attention to [some tediously boring bollox]. (courtesy @psd, who spurred this post)

5. I've got the real gen:
Me: Playing with the [must have yet unavailable device] from [groovyCo] thanks @[whoever their "chief evangelist" is] its awesome* (do not, repeat not, disclose that its a freebie for a puff piece - evah!)

6. I've got a secret:
Me: Who else is going to the [Exclusive Party/Wake/Orgy] DM me we should get together beforehand (also known as the fishing for an invite gambit. Even worse is the actual holder of the exclusive event trying to pimp it this way)

7. I've got great friends:
Me: RT [Some big dog]: their utterances from heaven above < thats so [awesome/awesome/awesome*]

8. Hey, did I tell you I've got real access:
Me: Just had a great [conversation/spitting contest/piss in the bogs] with [Some Big Dog] it was a truly [yes, you guessed it*] moment

9. Look at ME!
Me: I've just [finished/started/vomited up] my [best yet/first ever/next in an interminable series ] check out my [video/blog/photo - attach url] its truly a....*

10. I'm so Right On
Me: Check out this [whatever] on [the moral high ground zeitgeist of the day, or default Green Issue] its so [yes, you guessed it again*] it makes me [insert your cringeingly overblown emotional reaction here]

Source Data: Just another normal day on the Twitter Egosystem......

Update - rumbled by @kcorrick: "poss 11th way of using the Twitter Egosystem: writing a list of 10 things abt Twitter in full knowledge it will be RT'd "

*Everything is always Awesome. Or Lovely. There are No Other Adjectives on Twitter. Isn't that Awesome?